There are many great questions to ask yourself related to your decision of who to marry. And there are many great issues to consider. However, it would be impossible for me to cover every good question and every important issue in this short post here. What I’d like to do is pose one intriguing question for you to ponder, particularly if you or someone you know is considering who to marry. I admit that I did not come up with this question myself. I read it somewhere, and though I don’t remember the author, it’s a question I never forgot. It’s a question to ask yourself, particularly if you have someone in mind.

So here’s the question: If you got married to this person, would you be okay if your potential children turned out exactly like this other person, and nothing like you? Think about it. Imagine your potential children being exactly like this person you are considering, and nothing like you. Are you okay with that? Does that thought frighten you? Perplex you? Make you worried? Why? Do you have serious concerns, or are they possibly trivial? Or does it put a smile on your face – knowing that it would be great if you had children like this person (even if they ended up nothing like you)?

I think this question is revealing because it gets to the heart of your real and honest evaluation of the person you are considering. I think it helps get past superficial issues, and on to the issue of your respect for the other person. If you respect this person you are considering, I think you would be happy if your children became like them. But if you don’t respect this person you are considering, I think you may be worried about your children being like them.

So often we can view people we are potentially interested in with “rose-colored glasses,” but questions like these help us make decisions with a more objective, and I think, wise approach. Don’t get me wrong, if you are hoping and waiting for the perfect person, you will not get married – there are no perfect people out there; we all just need to look in the mirror and realise that we are not perfect. However, I think that in any relationship, we need to at least respect the person we are involved with.

This month my wife and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary! Time flies. And no, we’re not perfect, but I can genuinely say that I’d be very happy if, God-willing, we have children and they were just like my wife!

All the best to you, and always a pleasure to hear from you!

Josh Samuel